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Challenges of the first three months. Once the awe, shock, relief, and exhaustion of delivery have worn off a bit, you'll probably find that caring for your new baby is a lot of work; wonderful, but still work. The main reason is that newborn babies rely on their parents to manage all of their basic life functions—eating, sleeping, eliminating, and keeping warm. Your baby can't tell you what she needs from moment to moment; it's up to you to figure out what to do. Many parents find that all of their energy is focused on fine-tuning their babies: helping them eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full, stay awake more during the day and sleep more at night, and feel comfortable in a bright, buzzing world that is so much more stimulating than the womb. Some babies seem to take these challenges in stride. Others have a harder time adjusting. But by two or three months, most babies (and their parents) have the basics figured out, and it's time to start exploring. Relax and enjoy your baby. From what some people—including some doctors—say about babies demanding attention, you'd think that they come into the world determined to get their parents under their thumbs by hook or by crook. This isn't true. Your baby is born to be a reasonable, friendly— though occasionally demanding—human being. Don't be afraid to feed her when you think she's really hungry. If you are mistaken, she'll merely refuse to eat much. Don't be afraid to love her and enjoy her. Every baby needs to be smiled at, talked to, played with, and fondled gently and lovingly just as much as she needs vitamins and calories. That's what will make her a person who loves people and enjoys life. The baby who doesn't get any loving will grow up cold and unresponsive. Don't be afraid to respond to her other desires as long as they seem sensible to you and you don't become a slave to her. When she cries in the early weeks, it's because she's uncomfortable for some reason: Maybe it's hunger or indigestion, fatigue, or tension. The uneasy feeling you have when you hear her cry, the feeling that you want to comfort her, is meant to be part of your nature, too. Being held, rocked, or walked may be what she needs. Spoiling doesn't come from being good to a baby in a sensible way, and it doesn't happen all of a sudden. Spoiling comes on gradually when parents are afraid to use their common sense or when they really want to be slaves and encourage their babies to become slave drivers. Parents want their children to turn out healthy in their habits and easy to live with. And children agree. They want to eat at sensible hours and eventually learn good table manners. Your baby will develop her own pattern of sleep according to her own needs. Her bowels will move according to their own healthy pattern, which may or may not be regular; and when she's a lot older and wiser, you can show her where to sit to move them. Sooner or later she will want to fit into the family's way of doing things with only a minimum of guidance from you.
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